My Darkest Hour
by Fantine
Summary: pg for angst, and one tiny word. my first non-song fic!!!!!! i'm so proud. This story wrote itself. it started to be about Pettigrew, but it turned into Sirius. It's his thoughts before he is taken to Azkaban. R/R!


My Darkest Hour  
By Fantine  
  
Lily and James are dead. There's no bringing them back. Ever. I will   
never see James do a spiral on his broomstick,and I will never see Lily  
dance. Lily loved to dance.  
  
Lily and James are dead, and I killed them. I was to be there secret keeper,  
and I ducked out.  
  
Stop doing this to yourself, Sirius. You didn't kill them. Wormtail did.  
  
Wormtail, the slimy little filth. I still remember the day I met him...  
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I had just gotten sorted into Gryffindor. I was so proud, all of my family's been  
in Gryffindor. I sat down at the table, where I was soon joined by another  
boy. He was small and thin, with shaggy brown hair that fell into his tired  
hazel eyes. Remus Lupin. Moony. He didn't say much, he just gave me a weak  
smile. Soon another boy came over to sit with us. He was small, quite round  
and filled with nervous energy. Petter Pettigrew. Wormtail.  
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Even when I think of his name, I'm filled with a hatred so deep,   
it scares me. But I always try to think of good things. James would not   
want me to feel that way. Oh, James, my brother, what have I done?  
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Our little trio was made a quartet when a boy with messy black hair, and  
a confidant smile came over and sat by me. He was the firs to talk.  
"Hello. I'm James Potter. Who are you?" The tired boy looked at James as if  
he'd never been talked to before.  
"I'm Remus Lupin." His voice was shy and quiet, and when James reached out  
and shook his hand, a bigger smile apeared, making him look slightly less   
tired.  
"Petter Pettigrew," was the round boy's reply.   
" And I'm Sirius Black." This time it was I who reached out to shake  
James' hand. From that brief introduction, and a quick hand shake,   
we were as close as brothers.  
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Lupin. Dear Moony. Maybe he'll belive me. No, that's impossible. We never  
told any one we switched. Now no one will believe me. James would have,  
but he's never coming back again. Oh Lord, what have I done? I should be   
going over to his house right now to say hi, and make sure they have  
enough food, and help take care of little Harry! But I can't because they're   
dead. They're dead and there never coming back. I can still see the smoldering ash that   
was once they're house, and Harry...Poor little Harry...  
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It was Holloween, and I decided to go vist Prongs. As soon as I landed  
I knew something was wrong. The air smelled like smoke, and in the distance I heard a faint  
noise. I started running as fast as I could. Something was not right.   
When I got there. It was all gone. the house, the mail-box, everything.  
Oh, God, please let them be okay, I prayed as I dug through the smoldering rubble.  
But they weren't okay. Hagrid told me what happened and said he was to take Harry to Dumbledor.  
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So know I can't even see Harry to make sure he's all right. I ran into Wormtail  
a few minuts ago. That filth is smarter than I thought. He came up to me pleading  
for me to spare his life, and asking me why I killed them. I went to draw my wand but he   
was quiker. He killed himself, and took more people along with him.  
So what did I do? I laughed. I laughed at the hell my life had become and I laughed at the  
irony of it all, and I will probably still be laughing when they come to take me to Azkaban...  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of it!  
  
  
  



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